Where did my healthy little girl go? For 14 months I had a healthy little girl. Never sick. An occasional "off" day where she couldn't tolerate her food or she was super tired for an unknown reason, but she was never sick. Yes, we went to a bazillion Dr's but it wasn't because she was sick. We where learning who she was and putting her puzzle pieces together (which there are still a handful of pieces missing). I was never uncertain and scared about her future. Well, originally after finding out her prognosis I was scared but after the initial shock of it was over and I mourned, I never thought about it much. I'm sure I never really thought about it because she wasn't sick.
Well, the last few months have thrown me for a loop. Sadie is sick. She has pretty much been sick this entire year of 2013. We have had around 10 days or so of occasionally being healthy. Sadie started with RSV and seizures (which thank goodness the seizures didn't continue after the RSV was gone) and then a couple weeks later she got another respiratory infection and then that went right into a GI bug. The GI bug lasted for the entire month of February. It was 2 1/2 weeks of diarrhea and 2 weeks of trying to get her back onto her normal feeding schedule again without causing to many cramps and stomach pains and trying to get rid of the horrible rash from the diarrhea. Then March started and I thought "finally, she can breath, she can eat, no rashes, her poop is normal. Life is good again". I shouldn't have even thought it. I'm pretty sure I jinxed myself. Sunday, a cough here or there. Monday, the same thing. Monday night, all hell broke loose. She started coughing and choking (good thing we have Mr. Sucky) and she became inconsolable. This continued all night and all day Tuesday. It was horrible! She finally took a good 3 hr nap Tuesday evening and then woke up screaming in pain and again completely inconsolable. That continued for a good 3 hrs straight and then after both Tylenol and Motrin in her, she passed out and slept all night, not even any coughing. It was fabulous. Just what she needed and just what I needed... pure sleep. Then this morning she woke up screaming. She continued to scream and scream and scream. I had no idea what to do for her. I felt completely helpless. All my tricks I have for her, where not working. Then all of a sudden she stopped crying, looked at me calmly, and passed out. I actually woke her back up cause it happened so fast that I thought it was a "bad pass out", not a "tired pass out". That is how she has been all day, passed out. She will wake up, look around, not moving her body hardly and then pass right out again. Not to much coughing, which is great. However, when she does cough, you can just hear the gunk sitting in her lungs.
Yesterday was rough. Physically for her, emotionally for me. I balled my eyes out, completely stressed, feeling as helpless as I ever have. Probably had a lot to do with a lack of sleep, but I just feel like I can't get a good handle on her health. I feel like we are leaning in the right direction and then in a blink of the eyes, something is wrong with her health. I can't regain my energy from one sickness to the next. And obviously either can she.
Here is my BIG question. Is she getting sick all the time because it is a crappy year for winter illnesses and my poor girl just can't catch a break or is her underlying disorders getting worse? That's what scares me. I can't seem to get that out of my head. I think that is why with every illness, comes another emotional breakdown from me. I wish I had a way to know.
Well, the last few months have thrown me for a loop. Sadie is sick. She has pretty much been sick this entire year of 2013. We have had around 10 days or so of occasionally being healthy. Sadie started with RSV and seizures (which thank goodness the seizures didn't continue after the RSV was gone) and then a couple weeks later she got another respiratory infection and then that went right into a GI bug. The GI bug lasted for the entire month of February. It was 2 1/2 weeks of diarrhea and 2 weeks of trying to get her back onto her normal feeding schedule again without causing to many cramps and stomach pains and trying to get rid of the horrible rash from the diarrhea. Then March started and I thought "finally, she can breath, she can eat, no rashes, her poop is normal. Life is good again". I shouldn't have even thought it. I'm pretty sure I jinxed myself. Sunday, a cough here or there. Monday, the same thing. Monday night, all hell broke loose. She started coughing and choking (good thing we have Mr. Sucky) and she became inconsolable. This continued all night and all day Tuesday. It was horrible! She finally took a good 3 hr nap Tuesday evening and then woke up screaming in pain and again completely inconsolable. That continued for a good 3 hrs straight and then after both Tylenol and Motrin in her, she passed out and slept all night, not even any coughing. It was fabulous. Just what she needed and just what I needed... pure sleep. Then this morning she woke up screaming. She continued to scream and scream and scream. I had no idea what to do for her. I felt completely helpless. All my tricks I have for her, where not working. Then all of a sudden she stopped crying, looked at me calmly, and passed out. I actually woke her back up cause it happened so fast that I thought it was a "bad pass out", not a "tired pass out". That is how she has been all day, passed out. She will wake up, look around, not moving her body hardly and then pass right out again. Not to much coughing, which is great. However, when she does cough, you can just hear the gunk sitting in her lungs.
Yesterday was rough. Physically for her, emotionally for me. I balled my eyes out, completely stressed, feeling as helpless as I ever have. Probably had a lot to do with a lack of sleep, but I just feel like I can't get a good handle on her health. I feel like we are leaning in the right direction and then in a blink of the eyes, something is wrong with her health. I can't regain my energy from one sickness to the next. And obviously either can she.
Here is my BIG question. Is she getting sick all the time because it is a crappy year for winter illnesses and my poor girl just can't catch a break or is her underlying disorders getting worse? That's what scares me. I can't seem to get that out of my head. I think that is why with every illness, comes another emotional breakdown from me. I wish I had a way to know.
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