February 19, 2013

I am "that crazy mom"

  I am an trauma RN.  I am a bedside trauma RN in a hospital. I deal with patients.  I deal with all sorts of patients, broken bones to illness, rich to homeless, crazy to sane, drunks to sober.  You name them, I take care them.  No matter why the person is admitted to the hospital, I don 't get to choose if I want to take care of them.  An oath that all medical personnel take is to treat all individuals fairly and equally no matter the circumstances of their admission.  But even with that being said, it's hard not to judge and form opinions of people.
  Recently, I took care of a woman who comes to the hospital frequently, not just the hospital I work at but many hospitals, both in the state and out of state.  Why?  She is painful.  No one seems to be able to figure out the reason for her pain.  So she has slowly gained the title of "crazy", and that the pain is psychological.  I sat down and chatted with this woman for a pretty decent amount of time and learned her story and heard her frustrations.  She told me that everything that she has been through and that she looks up every disorder that she hears that could possibly lead her in the right direction and she looks up her many symptoms to see if anything goes together towards a disease/disorder.  She stated that she has been doing this for years.  I could see why people think she is crazy.  This has been going on for years and no one can find anything.
  After I left her room and had time to sit down, I started to think about the conversation.  How frustrating to keep searching for something and never get any answers and have people start labeling you crazy just because they, the Dr's, don't have answers.  Then it dawned me.  That is what I am doing with Sadie.  Yes, the situations are slightly different, but they are also the same.  We are both searching for a needle in a haystack and after a while you feel like the Dr's are not helping you and you are alone in the fight. Any teeny, tiny little clue you get, you run with it weather it makes sense or not. I no longer saw this woman as crazy, but just frustrated and desperate.  I felt her pain.
  I guess I will eventually gain the title of "that crazy mom" (if I haven't already gained it, haha).  I am ok with that.  My daughter is worth every name that I will be called behind my back and maybe even to my face.
  Guess who has learned a lesson in assuming and labeling people?  Me!  Guess who taught me that lesson?  Sadie!  Guess who will be a better person for learning that lesson?  Me!  Guess who will remain clueless and somewhat idiotic?  The people that don't have Sadie or a child like Sadie in their life to help open their eyes.  Again, how lucky I am to have her!

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