Today was a huge day for Sadie. She went to school in a classroom for the first time and rode the school bus. If you would have asked me a year ago if I was going to put her on a bus at 3 yrs old by herself, I would have looked at you like you were nuts!! No way was I letting go of Miss Sadie. It was bad enough that she would be in class for 2 1/2 hrs, but to add another 2 hrs give or take on a bus, NO THANK YOU!!! But as time went on, like everything else, my perspective changed. I talk to many parents that put their special needs children on the bus, met with her bus drivers, did my over protective mom thing, and in the end I decided it was going to be ok. Sadie is probably safer on the bus then my other 2 are on their bus because the kids on Sadie's bus are all buckled up and can't go anywhere, there is an extra adult that rides in the back with the kids, plus she's deaf so she can't hear the screaming and the noise on the bus.
But if you think I didn't put her on the bus and then go to her school to see her off the bus and then visit her classroom, you might be mistaken. I did just that. My heart still has the jitters about her being away from me and not being able to verbalize things. It scares me! So her teacher told me I could come for a few days to learn her routine in school and teach them about her and her "ins and outs". I took her up on the deal.
Sadie after her bus ride to school. No complaints.
Her nurse asked her if she was ready for school and Sadie made perfect eye contact and smiled, like she heard her and understood what she asked. It was precious!
Next came classroom time. I'm pretty sure she's gonna like love school. However, I think art will be her least favorite subject.
She loved swinging, relaxed as can be with her arms behind her head...
but was constantly looking up at the lights. Always distracted by lights!
This was the art project. She had to glue down tissue paper on a Dr Seuss hat. Oh did she hate this with a passion. "How dare someone hold my hand and put an object in it. GROSS!" Lol
After this pic, Sadie fell sound asleep. This is her defense mechanism. She doesn't like something she closes her eyes and falls sound asleep. Usually, this works for her, however, at school this will not fly. This is why I am sending her to school. They will push her in ways that I won't. I would let her sleep, school continues on with her project. She would open her one eye look at them and then close it and complain some more. It was hysterical.
Next was circle time. I wasn't allowed to get pics of this because of the other kids that were in the small group, ya know confidentiality issues. Sadie pretty much slept through this (or at least she tried too!) They still would include her in clapping, waving, stomping her feet. She would just give her "stink eye" and "fall asleep" again. Lol
Floor time, her favorite, complete freedom to move. She got to go into the black light "little room". It was a little overwhelming at first for her because every time she would move she would touch something (which is the total point of a "little room"). She told the parapro off a few times, but soon learned that if she laid still she wouldn't touch/move anything. Essentially she "played dead". Sadie's a smart little girl. She did enjoy looking at all the black light objects that were glowing in her line of vision.
This was her trying to roll to get away from it all. It wasn't working.
Finally she put her hands behind her head, careful no to touch anything and laid super still. She really was happy after that.
Finally, her school day was done. Time to go home. I had to leave before she boarded the bus because I had to get home to get my other girls off their bus. She had the best welcome home when the bus pulled up.
The girls were so excited that Sadie got to ride the bus and go to school. They think it is the coolest thing that she is old enough to do this. They have been talking too Sadie about all the things she'll learn at school, like "crawling, running, eating with your mouth, signing hi and no (apparently the girls think "no" is important for her to learn), abc's, climbing monkey bars, the rainbow, learn to talk, counting". This is how they see her school and education. Sadie was responding to them with smiles, giggles, and wiggles. They love the big sister role. They were just as excited to see her come home. We had the neighbor girls there too as part of the welcoming committee.
Sadie fell asleep on the bus and missed the initial welcoming. However, after all the bumps and stuff to get her off the bus she woke up, and when she did. This is what we got...
A HUGE smile.
She woke up and looked at her sisters and got a huge pirate grin on her face. A smile from ear to ear and extremely wiggly and giggly. Sadie was so happy to see her sisters and be home. But in a way it almost seemed like a smile of pride, a different aura about here. As if she was proud of herself for doing what she did that day, going to school and riding the bus. A sense of independence. She reminded me of her sisters a few days earlier and how proud and confident they were when they stepped off the bus when they got home.
As I'm writing that last paragraph happy tears are running down my cheeks (completely unexpected, and caught me off guard). I've struggled the last week or so thinking about how different her first day of school would be compared to the other girls first day of preschool. I even got angry at how this is so not fair to her. She deserves the same as the other two. But guess what? Even though her first day of preschool was sooo completely different then her sisters, she still got that happiness and proud feeling and it showed. She is capable of feeling and doing the same things as my other girls with just a little tweak here and there. I truly can not explain this feeling, but I think my heart may burst out of my chest with happiness, love, and pride for this little girl. She has taught me so much in life! Lessons I would have never learned without her. It's funny, I wouldn't wish a special needs child on anyone because it is an incredible struggle and heartbreaking at times, but it has been one of the most invaluable, incredible experiences in my life and I wish everyone could experience the joy and love that a special needs child can bring to your life. It is like no other experience in your life.
Her smiles and happiness didn't stop when she came in the door. It lasted the rest of the night.
GOD BLESS THIS ONE OF A KIND, BEAUTIFUL LITTLE GIRL!
**Here are some other random pics:
*P.S. Her darn left ear started draining again! Can you imagine that? I think I caught it early enough that it doesn't get to the bleeding stage again. Fingers crossed!!
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